AFTER MARRIAGE, WHAT ELSE?

AFTER MARRIAGE, WHAT ELSE?

A lover of cool music is what I could be described as when I sometimes find myself idle . Coupled with the gentle notes from a keyboard, or whatever instrument is being used which makes goosebumps appear on the skin is more than enough to switch my mind to another level. Here I was, in a church, not where I am not  rooted to worship though, and the leader of the church amidst soothing strings which got the atmosphere "charged" started speaking with much vim. Then he asked this question, not to one particular person but everyone. " What do you need"? Amidst the several mumblings, I unknowingly held on to a particular response; " I NEED MARRIAGE". Don't blame me, but instantly, there was a mental note to check the person out later and when I did, I was awed.

Behind me, where the response came from was a pretty girl,maybe not that matured in my sight and probably some elderly people will agree with me but that was exactly what I heard loud and clear from her. Curiosity took the better part of me and I did a bit of background check. Again, I sat by myself with mixed feelings. Revelations from my little digging brought to light that my "interesting" friend was, if I could say, not ready for marriage. But then again, who am I to judge? That's her topmost priority and should someone be bold enough to read my thoughts and come upfront to me, am certain to be told it's none of my business.

Having been a witness to quite a number of weddings, I'd say the rate at which people get married currently is very alarming. There's no single weekend without a marriage ceremony not being held in a vast number of Churches. Even though it is a sight to behold taking into consideration the decorations as well as how so much in "love" the couples look, what happens at the aftermath of it all?

Being on some platforms, I get to read varied posts from people. Ranging from all manner of happenings be it amusing or serious. Once while idly scrolling through posts by people on a platform, I got sight- locked on one particular post and I just kept going to and fro trying to get the reason for it being shared. As captioned, "AFTER MARRIAGE, WHAT NEXT?" To him, it has been something he has been pondering over for sometime and he sought to find answers and that was why he shared it on that platform.

Being by himself with this thought, he identified the legal right to have sexual intercourse with your partner and then should children come out of the deed, fair enough. But what actually can be the one sole reason for marriage. Sometime back in school when this topic was taught, we were made to understand that marriage centers around companionship and procreation. But then again, is that all there is to it?

Looking back to marriages by our elders, theirs have been one that stands for long. Even if it was instituted through arranged means, one can say for a fact that it stands for long come what may. A look around might make known some "poor" reasons as to why the "marriage calendar" needs to have a review. For some, it might be out of pregnancy and due the the shame that might come to the woman and the family, hasty preparations have to be made for a quick ceremony. Even if it was in the mind's eye of the couple to marry sometime, things have to be rushed. For others, it might be pressure from people around that you're aging, you've accumulated some wealth or maybe the supposed need for a grand child. But really, will the marriage be about you who is doing the pressurizing or the one who will be in the marriage?

As quickly as some wish to get married, the same way they wish to be out of it maybe because they are uncomfortable or that it wasn't done right. I am not an expert to speak on authority but as usual, it is just my thoughts at work once again. Divorce cases abound after a few months of being in a marriage and it is really heart breaking. Of what use is it after all the cost incurred and after vows have been said out loud in the sight of God and other witnesses? Since the marriage was held publicly, the divorce I suggest should be done publicly as well. After all, what could be the worst of it?

The "for better for worse" aspect of the vows during a marriage ceremony needs to be resounded to all. It is not a child's play when one can just jump in and when you are fed up, you shake the dust of your feet to go back to your old state. For the pains taking part, I know it to be a lifetime decision and journey so long as you draw the conclusion of wanting to get married.

I daresay something is just wrong somewhere but should pain be endured with a proper planning, it never promises to be all rosy but for it's worth, one can enjoy it while it lasts. It is not about how good one looks on the day of marriage, never about the number of bridesmaids or groomsmen, never about how the wedding becomes the talk of the town but rather how you can hold it all together and say I am never swallowing my vows or to retract them.

RELIGION ℅MORALS

MORALS, PAVING THE WAY FOR RELIGION

"Religion is not a repository of morality. Morality is learned from self actualization and empathy. You pick it up from childhood. One can have morals without necessarily being religious. Don't get me wrong. Religion in itself is arguably a man-made institution and as such is bagged up with flaws.
Christianity is about one's mentality"

Having been on a portal for some years, this typed by someone made me start to think deeper unknowingly. Then it hit me, how true can this be? Then again I said to myself it may or may not be true because unknown to you, someone's " assumption" held as a strong belief might be a fallacy to another.

In my quest to find my way around it, I decided to look out for the meanings of both "morals" and "religion".
Morals as defined by the English dictionary says  "is conforming to a standard of right behaviour; sanctioned by or operative on one's conscience or ethical judgement".
It then defines religion as "a particular system of faith and worship".
Having found these, I sighed and then again tried to get key words that was visible in these two words. For morals, I realized it could be likened to ethics, relation, noble, virtual just to mention a few. Then for religion, devotion and commitment could be said to be what it centers on.
One could go to and fro about this whole issue concerning morality and religion but for one to say both stand on its own is but a sham.

I dare say that one relies on the other or one is embedded in the other. That said, when a child is born, parents see to passing on several virtues to them. How to accord people respect, how to speak and so on. When all these are in place, then there is a way paved for religion.

Religion as seen might in a way put a fold over people's eyes. In the name of religion, people have misled others. In the name of religion, people have committed heartbreaking crimes and just because they preach the gospel, most go scot free.

It is not about speaking in tongues, it is not about making people whole from their ailments and it certainly is not about carving a niche for oneself but how you can make someone saved come the day of judgment.

Someone may say several books written by some people held high in esteem is enough to instill morals into someone but like an Akan adage says " obi nhyer3 akwaada Nyame". To be translated, no one shows who God is to a kid. Some years back,God spoke to people Himself and He still does. People off late are hiding behind the mercies of Him and doing several things. When caught, they claim the Spirit of the most high asked me to do it. But really, some " insane" things can never be from God.

Switch on a radio or a television set and you'd be a witness to what I am saying. Everyone is claiming to have been "called" by a deity of some sort and gradually are turning this whole issue into a business. But this is not to be so! Where will all these lead us to? Should you accumulate all the wealth and never wake up the next day which means you never had the chance to confess your sins, of what benefit will it be to you?

Truly, out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks and by their fruits, ye shall know them. Religion shouldn't be confused as morals and vice versa. For some, they attend church to get a deeper insight of things they have heard or read somewhere but should it be that out of someone's selfishness they are further confused than they came, what good have you been to them?

Morals are virtues to be upheld and religion, a calling to be devoted to a particular faith.

PUNITION MISPLACED FOR PASSION

PUNITION MISPLACED FOR PASSION

The fear of people being poor or the mere fact of not getting one's basic needs is what keeps most people up and doing about getting a job.
Yes, it is very true that somewhere in the Bible, there is a quote which paraphrased says "lazy hands are not to eat".

Lazy hands are not to eat but then again, do people just purpose in their hearts and minds to be lazy?
Answers might vary from everyone's perspective.

When one is born, parents try as much as they can to get their children learn some form of education, be it in classrooms or homes. But then again, are these full of theories or they are practical one way or the other?

Meet a kid and ask him or her,dear, what do you wish to be in future, then you would hear professions you may not have ever thought of. Take it upon yourself to observe this kid for a while and you'd realize that someway somehow, their thoughts about their future is altered in a way.
It could be financial issues or some mishap you can't even fanthom.

Walk through any institution of work and you'd realize there are different characters employees portray. There are people I'd hardly say are there because they love what they do, another because a favour chanced them and some because they need to do something in order to keep moving in life.

If you've got a passion for what you do, kudos but should you be at a workplace with a grumpy attitude, what prevents you from quitting and get what you'd love to do? Is it the fear of starting all over or you just can't stand the pressure you might be given? Of what benefit will liabilities be to you when you've got to be gathering assets?

For one to be great, it does not come as an enchantment, a wish or something placed on a silver platter to be taken. It takes a gradual process. Someone might say should there be a quick way to get successful, why go through another full of excruciating pain? Least you've not realized, should pain be taken and endured to reach a level, it is valued more than one that just comes out of luck or favour.

A tutor once said to me, things given for free are hardly valued but pay a painful price for it and you'd know just how to go about your things. This transferred to our various workplaces is very similar. You chance upon someone in customer service for a firm and the person is just spitting not so soothing words at you knowing that your temper at the time is way above its highest. You interact with someone who claims to be a trained teacher or nurse and there is hardly anything like patience seen. Then again, you chance on people who are to just do what is expected of them as their job demands but they'd rather use crooked and dubious means to make more money.

What most people refuse to accept is that irrespective of how you go about your work, there is surely a day for accountability and if you are found wanting, you'd better pack silently than receive a massive embarrassment.

It is not about how quick you want to make it in life but what needs to be done and done appropriately.